a piece of bakpao

pipinya merona
tanda hati berbunga
pun harinya melelahkan
ia tahu ada seorang menyayanginya
hatinya tahu siapa yang menjaganya

pipinya yang seputih bakpao bersemu
hatinya yang sehangat bakpao panas membuncah
bagai isi daging yang sarinya melesak
meresapi pori roti putih
pun mengembang dan berkembang
bagai bakpao hangat, menggoda

galau pada bulan

Kala bulan merindu
Hati ini pun merindu
Hadirnya malam menambah sendu
Senyapnya malam menusuk kalbu

Gundah berkelana
Sigap dan tangkas menyelinap setiap sudut otot raga
Berderai mengikuti derasnya darah mengalir
Masuk, mengalir, lalu menguap

Semuanya merasuk.
Semuanya membusuk.

Ingin rasanya memarahi bintang karena bersinar
Menonjok bulan karena keindahan purnama
Ia meringkuk disana, risau akan kecantikannya
Sinarnya menambah aura amarah

Semuanya terlalu indah, menyilaukan mata,
Membutakan hati, tersilap galau
Is it to good to be true
Atau aku yang terlalu marah?

andini, desember 2005

feed love

Not long after midnight, in that free zone
The state that brings dream symbols
That surprise the dreamer
Cause he thinks he’s awake
He slips into a sort of enforced darkness
The dream carries no visual impressions,
only sound and feeling

Love is light that surely glows
In the hearts of those who know
It’s a steady flame that grows
Feed the fire with all the passion you can show
Tonight love will assume its place
This memory time cannot erase
Your faith will lead love
Where it has to go

andini, agustus 2006

Tamasya - Mancanegara

the cover of the May issue

six pages about Greece

loving is loving

I can't tell if this is a path or an adventure. I just let it flow. For life is once in a lifetime though I believe in what so called a reincarnation, this is what I live on now.

• Loving my family, for my existence in the world rely on them. For the blood running in my veins. Trying my best to make them proud which is a hard thing to do. For everything they have done for me.
  
• Loving my lover, as there is no tomorrow. For we don't know what is ahead of us. For our love is protected with love itself.
  
• Loving all my friends. For friends are precious jewels of life. They are our closest sisters and brothers we can rely on.
  

I can mix and match the sentences followed, but it would be the same. I don't think your heart, my heart, afford it loosing one of them.

I appreciate and love them above since they are the best ever happen in my life. Could not ask for more to God.
Since wealth is nothing without love.

Come what may. But as I live my life now to God I pray there would not be any regrets in the future. I experience them, I love them, I spend my time with them, I do my best.

for all of you in my life. thank you for make life even merrier

cintaku?

samudera menghampar luas
haru membiru
dalamnya pun buas
maka demikian cintaku

karna sungai mengalir panjang
berujung air terjun deras
beriak dan tenang
maka demikian aku puas

karna angkasa tak berujung
nol gravitasi merajam tubuhku
hamparan sinaran bintang
maka demikian cintaku

cintaku seperti bunga
tuk dirawat dan berkembang
cintaku seperti doa
tuk berharap dan dipanjatkan

bintang

dalam kegelapan
aku mencari dan mencari
secercah binar mentari di pelupuk kelam
rasa sepi dan pasi yang hinggap
meringkuk sontak di keriaan hati
hingga perasaan ini melolong bagai serigala
ingin melepaskan suatu asa dan rasa
yang ada hanyalah bayang-bayang
aku berharap dan berharap
dapat menjadi bintang terang
yang terus bersinar meski dalam kelam
entah apa yang ada di anganku

andini, februari 2006

heroine

We can only learn to love by loving
in this preserveness acting
listening, caring, giving,
loving, kissing, tendering

For love is a heroine
you will not underestimate
the power of obsessive love

above all else
love itself is a gift

it frees us from all the weight and pain in life
the happy memories surround as an aura
it protects you from hate
it recovers you from age

For love is a heroine
you cannot resist the desire
to be loved and to love
the irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired

andini, april 2006

While we have the gift of life, it seems to me that the only tragedy is to allow part of us to die -- whether it is our spirit, our creativity, or our glorius uniqueness.

PLAYBOY: a bit of sweet history

PLAYBOY Indonesia was first published on April 2006. Early before the launch of the magazine, it already gains massive protest although many still support to make the dream happen.

 At the time of the launch, it gained another massive protest that lead to destruction of the head office. The office was evicted by the building management due to the damages from the protesters, and rumor has it (we created it) that the office was relocated to Bali. Though that part was also true, we had this office down at Seminyak area, but the main operations were still in Jakarta.

It didn’t stop there. The crews must face police authority, held as witnesses and suspects for creating and distributing pornography to the public. Three of the crew members got on trial. It was a huge phenomenon that a magazine like Playboy launches in this country.

But it was a jolly ride, having to work with all of those circumstances, with a solid team, and with laughter and all the fun of life.This was the cover of the premiere issue.

Cover: Andhara Early; Foto: Okke Gania

 

There were many coverage from national and international media. Some discussed the disappointments from expecting readers, some discussed how the magazine enrages the society. Some also supporting the magazine and creativity that blew your heart.

But, the Playboy issue opened up a new matter in this country. The Pornography Act, which basically rule people actions, whether in society and or mass media that can be described as porn action. This act gained a bigger controversy than what created by the magazine itself, many declined this act. 

As for this time, the country is still facing its morality. Whether this country choose to be considered as this morally graceful but being hypocrite of all this matter. Or, face that we are already in the global community, and we should and we are suppose to open minded, grab reality and respect all the diversity that the country has. 

i really love the way

you look at me,
you gaze at me,
mesmerizing

even at a glance,
i still feel adored
by your sparkling tired eyes
truly do

the way you smile at me
when I tell you my activities
the way you hold my hands
when I tell you my problems
the way you laugh..and make me laugh
for funny weird stories we share together
the way you caress me..
for questions I ask you

your moves kissing me
your passions touching me
your hands rubbing down my body

because all of that, I cherish you
feel extraordinary happy being with you

it's really great to be with you...
yes, you

andini, march 2006

when you drunk

you lost consciousness
yet consciousness profounded
you grasp reality
from another point of view

sights you see distant from reality
things you do distinguish from human
words you spell emerge from deepest thoughts
actions you act acquainted with animals

you want hugs
you crave for caress
you stroke for a kiss
your desire is irresistible

you'd kill for them

besides you know all of this.
you just forgot

things happen

don't think I have a big ego
just because I call myself a hero
anybody can be a hero
even after they're dead.

everyone have a big ego
might leads them to the death
of good deeds
or even love

push ego down hard
then things will come around
love comes back to you
in good deeds they flew

things don't wait for you to believe them
they happen

God is not Tinkerbell
He does what He does
whether you clap your hands
or hide behind the comfort of your disbelief

nafas nafsu

ketika malam pergi meninggalkanku,
ada pertikaian di dadaku
melesak ingin keluar
membuncah ingin meledak

ketika kau datang menghampiriku,
ada desir di dadaku
melesak ingin mencumbu
membuncah ingin dicumbu

ketika mereka menghampiriku,
ada kepuasan di hatiku
bernafaskan nafsu
bernafsukan cinta

cinta dan nafsu
menipis untuk terpisah
siapa di antaramu
yang merajai hatiku

where are you

I see the stars
eyes filled with tears
tears of joy
sadness to destroy

magic is
the feeling emerge
rising from the deepest skin
floating from the deepest heart

can't you see
I swam in the sea
just to see you
pounding my heart